Mondays with Mom: Beautiful Stranger

Last week was crazy and Mondays with Mom had to be put on the back burner. Mom came to College Station to help me get the house ready. Ready for what you ask? We are MOVING!!! More to come on our latest adventure but for now, here is Mom with Mondays with Mom. (I absolutely LOVE this story- making mom write has been so much fun because I am learning and hearing all sorts of things I never knew)

Complete stranger:
Danger or God’s leading???

When I was a child, my parents said we didn't need a dog. Sometimes, however, if I got lucky, someone would drop a puppy off to fend for itself, and it would wander to our neighborhood.  I would quickly give the sweet little innocent, flea infested puppy a bath, get an old used leash, and announce to my family that I had found a stray, and couldn't we keep him???

That’s how I've lived my entire life. The first day of school desegregation, I couldn't wait to invite my new friend that I had never seen before to my house;  that also included boys I met at the beach, strangers that I met at the movies; God must have really been watching out for me.

When I was getting my Master’s Degree, I had to take a class in interpersonal relationships. We watched some scenarios where people were sincere, and others were using people. I could never tell the difference, since I always saw the good in people, and kept saying, “I see what you’re saying, but couldn't you see that person was reaching out???”

Mark took a job transfer to the wonderful state of California, and being adventurous, I was all for the move that we must  make. I was eight months pregnant and with a three year old; but felt sure God would deliver this second baby wherever we moved. (I was wrong about that..but that’s a different blog!)

When Lauren was just a few months old, I took both the girls to the one and only grocery store in the new area (so new that we still had no phone service). I am always people watching, and noticed a young mother shopping with her infant also. She asked me if I knew where she could find the ice cream, and I told her. She had a quiet smile, a small voice, and she seemed needy-I remembered thinking. As I thought about it, I thought that she should have known she would find that in frozen food, but, whatever.

About two aisles later, there she was again, with a second question and some small talk about babies. We ended up standing in the frozen food aisle for a long time, just making small talk. We properly introduced ourselves, where we lived, churches attended, ages of children, and who knows what else. She indicated that she had just moved (hadn't we all in this new area), and was lonely. Of course you know what I did. I invited her to my house that afternoon!!!!! I didn't know her from Adam (or Eve), but I did.  I remember thinking as I unloaded my groceries that I may not have been very smart in doing so, but hadn't I felt I was supposed to do that, reach out. I felt that God was nudging…or was that me just bringing home strays again, seeing only the good??

Beth and her newborn came over, and the afternoon went wonderfully. I can pretty much talk to the wall, so that was easy. Jess was little mama babysitting our two little infants. I invited her family to dinner on Friday night, and so a friendship began.

About a month after befriending Beth, we were at her home for a play date when she told me she had a confession to make.  After we got comfy, Beth related that her life had been really sad lately, she had fallen in to a depression pit that she could not get out, and had decided to take her life…

THAT was the day she loaded up her infant child and came to the grocery store!  …I cry again, just thinking about her, and how God led me to act upon my intuition that day…

                          And as I tell my girls all the time, Look for God’s gifts around you.

Mondays with Mom: Sisters

I hope yall have been enjoying Mondays with Mom. I know I am loving listening to the stories and waiting to see what Mom will come up with for the next week. I love that I have made her write again. : ) 

This week she shares about her sisters. I have a vivid memory of this exact day. I had made a "family newspaper" and had spent all day working on it for when everyone came over. (Random memory- I know). I also remember this fight happening...yet I don't remember the silence that came after...I only remember the laughter that followed. 

Sisters……

Girls God put in your Life

Circa 2004 (I think)
Mom, Ruby, Janice & Jenny (Granny in front)

Mark loves the movie, Christmas Vacation, with Chevy Chase. You know the one…Chevy goes to the attic, watches old home movies, and cries for the good ole days. He’s watching our home movies now, the VHS edition. I watched for an hour earlier, but decided it was time to quit…I missed my young parenting days.  I do always love watching the dynamics of our girls being sisters; love Jessica being “little mama,” love watching Lauren emulate her big sissy, even love their arguments; always with the prissy little hands on the hips!

All that sisterly love made me think back to my childhood; being the third of four girls--Jenny, then Ruby (4 and 5 years older than me), and Janice (4 years younger).  I wrote once that the third child in the family wasn’t important out of four. When you’re the middle child, it’s a problem we have (although it is NOT true, you that are third born).

When you are sisters, there are always pivotal moments in your relationships. I’m about to share our biggest : )

After our dad passed away, my two older sisters helped my mom keep her independence by doing practically everything for her at her house. They really were unbelievable.  Every time they came to mom’s they had work to do. A few years ago, my family went home to visit; and as always, when there were lots of us, we all gathered on the back patio for a huge picnic.(We all loved this family tradition - you know the type of day; everybody cooks their specialty, and we all eat until we’re stuffed!)

Just as we were getting ready to serve dinner, Jenny came up the stairs and announced that she would be right back, but she had washed my clothes (to surprise me) and was going to hang them out on the line. If you know Jenny, you know she adores fresh smelling clothes. ……I objected. Jen, you can’t hang my undies on the line right where the men are all sitting! Jen laughed and headed out the door. She was being such a great sister, but all I could think of was my big ole underwear being hung outside for all to see! I took the basket out of her arms, and zipped through the house with it!

As I returned, my sister Ruby was getting ready to empty the garbage can. Again, what a great sister because in doing so we would have space for new trash. But it smelled, and we were getting ready to eat. I said, “No, it stinks.”  She laughed and continued to work (as they always did). I took the trash can and threw it down the basement stairs, so as to get rid of the smell. I can remember my mom, sitting in her wheelchair, saying, “Oh Lord, what has happened to my girls?”

I can never remember arguing with my sisters like that. We ate in silence. All of us kept exchanging glances at each other, as if to say, are we alright? Later that day, we all had a great time laughing at all of us, about how silly the entire situation looked. The next day, I remember, my girls said they understood my sisters completely, working at our mom’s was what they always did, and they were doing what they always did...Made perfect sense.

I will go to my death remembering that day as one of the funniest memories with my sisters. I love knowing that no matter how we act, no matter if we are wrong or right…."Love keeps no record of wrong doing…” and at the end of the day, there are no people that I want to get along with or not get along with...more than my sisters!! 

Mondays with Mom: I am a teacher

Your child’s favorite person (if you’re lucky)

When my girls started school, they would come home and always, always, nightly tell “teacher” stories around the dinner table. We knew those sweet teachers stories too, which was great. The only problem was that my girls thought their teachers hung the moon, not their teacher mom; no their important teacher that they adored and worked for happily all day long! I was always thankful for those educators that touched, taught, even inspired my daughters. As this year begins for many families this month, my prayer for yours is that your children fall in love with their teachers, and that as parents you never say a negative thing about those educators, especially in front of their adoring fans, your kids J

A Teacher:

I am a counselor and psychologist to a problem-filled child,

I am a police officer that controls a child gone wild.
I am a travel agent scheduling our trips for the year,
I am a confidante that wipes a crying child's tear.
I am a banker collecting money for a ton of different things,
I am a librarian showing adventures that a storybook brings.
I am a custodian that has to clean certain little messes,
I am a psychic that learns to know all that everybody only guesses.
I am a photographer keeping pictures of a child's yearly growth,
When mother and father are gone for the day, I become both.
I am a doctor that detects when a child is feeling sick,
I am a politician that must know the laws and recognize a trick.
I am a party planner for holidays to celebrate with all,
I am a decorator of a room, filling every wall.
I am a news reporter updating on our nation's current events,
I am a detective solving small mysteries and ending all suspense.
I am a clown and comedian that makes the children laugh,
I am a dietitian assuring they have lunch or from mine I give them half.
When we seem to stray from values, I become a preacher,
But I'm proud to have to be these people because ...
I'm proud to say, "I am a teacher."

Mondays with Mom: Losing Grandma

This past week was a hard week on our family. On Tuesday afternoon Mom called me on her way to Grandma's apartment because Joan thought (and was correct) that Grandma had suffered a stroke & was unresponsive. It wasn't looking good. The siblings rallied and we went to the Lord in prayer for his will to be done. My grandma was 92 years old. She is gone now...but her legacy WILL live on in me...in Ascher (his middle name- my maiden name-Grandma's last name)...in all of her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. Today's Monday with Mom isn't a funny story of rolling beads, the story of how she came to know Jesus or even a story of icy hot & lavendar. This Monday is a hard Monday and so will next Monday. Saturday is the funeral. My mother has a gift of writing and even in her grief was able to put the thoughts into beautiful words. 

Losing Our Mom

Life and death are miraculous events in our lives, but death is by far the most painful for us all. In our heads, our minds, we know “it was their time.” We know “they are out of their pain.” We know “They are with the angels in heaven.” The heart, however, only knows the vast emptiness, the vacuous hole deep within our soul. Memories flood back, always the good memories, and if you are a truly blessed person, and lost someone Godly, the memories are always good.

That’s how we felt when we lost my mom, Martha Turner. That’s where we are right now, with wonderful memories of Mark’s mom, Martha Hardy.  My daughter, Lauren Martha, was named after both Martha’s.

Mrs. Hardy was the quintessential Proverbs 31 woman. She exemplified God and faith first, family second. 

Doing her devotional for family Thanksgiving

To witness the love between Martha and Lee (Mr. Hardy, who we lost 5 years ago) was to feel the uniqueness of what God meant when he defined marriage.  Martha’s family, close and extended, was prayed for daily, and if we had a specific prayer need, Martha was the woman you wanted praying for you. You knew she would pray without ceasing for God’s will.

The Hardys, like my parents, were from “the greatest generation.” They lived through the great depression, WW II, and the baby boom. Mrs. Hardy reused, up cycled, repurposed, recycled before any of those words were cool. She taught us so much. She sewed everything; from clothing to draperies and slip covers. Her cooking …I can taste her Shrimp Sauce Piquant now.

Her children, Mark, Joan and Janet were raised in a Christian home, and in a bucolic neighborhood. The memories they have are priceless and all family oriented.

Mrs. Hardy went to church with Mark (my husband, her son)  the Sunday before she passed away, singing, praising, and refusing to sit down when the praise music lasted twenty minutes!

To all her children, grandchildren, great grand children, and anyone who knew her, each person was blessed to have her in their lives. Now, like all of us who have lost someone we truly love, we grieve for those we lose, and support each other as we move forward with loss, memories, and a hope for our eternal future where we shall all be united one day again…Oh Glorious Day!

Monday with Mom: Episode 6

Have you ever been out shopping, and suddenly something catches your eye that you simply must have?  That's what happened with the multi -strand necklace in the photo:  all the colors of the rainbow, all the beads, all the everything called out my name. An impulsive purchase...absolutely....but I was one happy girl when I announced to the sales clerk that I wanted to wear it out of the store!  I even took a photo wearing it, that's how much I liked it!  After my purchase was proudly being worn, I went to a popular Mexican restaurant to meet some friends. It was the end of the school year, so the restaurant was extremely crowded with families and children.


My friends were seated already when I arrived, and as I approached the table everybody agreed that I was wearing a great necklace.  The waiter delivered our chips and salsa, and as I leaned over so as not to feed my shirt (as my dad used to say)...I heard this loud noise echo throughout the entire place. The noise sounded like a million tiny beads falling to a tiled, slick floor! 

Suddenly, every eye in the place was on our table...on me. My necklace was no longer on my neck but falling, like a waterfall, to the floor of the restaurant! Kids all over the place were jumping up from their seats like it was "break the piñata" time at a birthday party...I nearly died of embarrassment...


And even after the waiters, bus boys, children, and adults alike handed the parts of my prized possession back to me...even as I was returning the trillion misplaced beads to the clerk at the store later for a refund...I loved that necklace!  

Drat...

Mondays with Mom: Her Testimony

Sharing Bits and Pieces of Our Lives

A number of years ago, when I was a summer camp counselor at a Christian camp, I had the opportunity to serve with a foreign missionary named Hazel Moon. One night after Vespers, she told me that she felt in her heart that God would have more people do exactly what many of us do...share the bits and pieces of our lives. That's what Lauren's blog does. Hopefully, mine will too. And, through the blogs, maybe we will share more and comment more with each other, so that we may all grow and learn from each other.

Recently, Lauren asked me and many others to write their testimony. We should all do that. Below is my testimony:

My mom took her four daughters to Sunday school and church every Sunday day of my life. At our house, you had to be sick or dying to miss church, except for dad, who never went with us. We also went to church on Sunday night, and Wednesday night, and I even joined the choir, and my younger sister played the piano. We used to sing with two of our other friends. Thank God for small country churches where girls with so-so voices were praised and encouraged to serve The Lord. Vacation Bible School every summer, and GA's (a group studying missionaries) through the week.....I am proof that you can go to church for years and NOT become a Christian!

Mom's church growing up

Every year, our church held a revival, not done much today. But, it was known, you would be attending nightly!! Every night for the entire week, regardless of homework! During one such revival time, I remember that our pastor, Mr. Davis and the visiting pastor came to visit our home (which was normal during revival) in the evening, one day in to the revival. I was in my bedroom, and refused to visit with them. I was convicted, and I knew they were going to ask me if I had a personal relationship with Christ. I knew I would have to say no.  My younger sister had already become a Christian,and I observed her walk with God daily. She had such a fire in her heart for the Lord. I didn't have what she had, but I knew that her walk was the one I desired. 

Mom & Her Younger Sister, Janice

Well, I did talk to Pastor Davis and became a Christian that evening as God worked in my heart. I walked forward the next night at revival, when the invitation song, "Softly and  Tenderly, Jesus is calling " was played. My feet were ready, and I waited one verse, and then moved to the front of the church to let others know of my decision.  I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders, to finally accept the eternal gift I had been afraid of. I thought I wasn't perfect enough to accept; I had a lot to learn. I was seventeen years old!!!  I say that because most children accept Jesus , I think, earlier in their young lives. Still don't know what took me so long!

I served with a new fervor after that, teaching children's classes and nighttime bible studies.  I continued to sing in the church choir, even though singing at funerals made me feel so sad, I would almost get physically ill. I knew people needed to be encouraged during that hard time in their lives.

At twenty one years of age, I nearly died in a horrific motorcycle accident; thus rededicating every action in life to God.....but then that's a different testimony...

Mondays with Mom: Episode 5

Is He Real? 

Recently, Lauren took Ascher to the zoo, and she took a photo that is amazing; Ascher leaning in to the glass partition at the cheetah habitat, and kissing the cheetah!

The photo made me remember a notebook I kept of wonderful events from my years of teaching...
There were a few years when I taught gifted students, and English , second language students. (Such a combination of teaching skills here!) During that time, I had an office in the front of our school, not a classroom; therefore, I got to hear many conversations in the hallway when people did not realize I was in my office. Here's one of my favorites.

He was about three years old, and he was all boy - from his baseball cap on the top of his head down to his Nike-clad feet.  He walked right up there, with no fear, and on the edges of his tippy toes he leaned in.
"Is it real?"
"Is it real?"
I'm sure his mom didn't know the proper way to answer that question.
You see; that small, wide-eyed little boy was  staring at a stuffed raccoon in the school's trophy case in the front hallway of the school. Our school mascot was a raccoon, and years ago, a local taxidermist had donated the raccoon to his children's school.  He even has a name, Woody, and he's walking on a limb. It was easy to see why Woody's realism would cause some questioning!
"He's real," I heard his sweet mom answer. Probably not wanting to go any further with this discussion, she followed by saying, "We've got to go."
The young boy didn't budge. Being a smart mom, she said, "I'll wait right over there by the door. Tell the raccoon God bless you and then let's go."
Being an obedient three year old, I watched as he did just that. He walked over to the trophy case, leaned in once again, kissed the glass dividing them and whispered, "Little raccoon...I'll get you out of there tomorrow when we bring my sister to school. It'll be ok ...oh...and...God bless you!"

Mondays with Mom: Episode 4

Mom told us last week about being the "old people" in the maintee movies. This week she is talking about going to the movies with my Dad. Oh the adventures I have to look forward too. Haha! Too bad Justin won't go to the movies with me. 

There is no glitter in this line.

My hubby loves Bond movies. Since he is like most men, and doesn't have guy friends to go to the movies that only guys want to see, I always go with him. That's why I know all the Star Wars, Star Trek, Super Hero, and Action movie plots!! Naturally, the last Bond film fell on his birthday weekend, and since he doesn't particularly like matinees, we went to the eight pm showing, where we had to wait in long lines to get tickets, to get popcorn, and to be seated. 

This was opening weekend and the roped off line was long and crooked, which as a past teacher, I hated! We, the rule following people in line, asked one particularly knowledgeable man (you know the type, someone must be in charge of you people, and it will be me.) if we were in the correct line for the Bond  movie. He said he felt sure all of us were and he said he knew this because there was no glitter in the line (The Twilight movie was also having its opening weekend and was showing at the next numbered theater down. There was lots of glittery shirts in that line.) Turns out, he was right!


As we sat down, there were people that were trying to get situated, talking loudly to each other, and I realized that we were old people tonight too. I started  laughing to myself.  In front of us I hear a man comment about the beginning song in the movie, "I ''m glad that is over. It was too loud." Then a woman to my left, " What did that man say.?" A few minutes later the man in front asks his wife," Did you eat all the popcorn?" She has the bag in an upside down position in the air...YES! Then my husband leans to me and says, " That did not make sense. Bond would not have done that!" I answer, "I know. That was poor."  and again, I realize, we are the old people!


As I sit quietly through the movie, I was reminded of the first time I realized I had become my parents....It was about a year ago.  My husband and I were invited  to a dinner at the end of a conference.  In looking around the the room upon our arrival, I sweetly said to my husband, " I hope we aren't going to stay here long, there are only old people here." We took our seats and as we began to eat our salads, we began to hear the 70's music of the band, and watch the few bold people dance on the small dance floor.

...Yeah, my husband agrees, everybody here is our age!!!!

If you missed the first 3 weeks here they are: 
Week 1
Week 2
Week 3

Mondays with Mom: Episode 3

I have been a terrible blogger. We have been crazy busy and I have so much to catch up on. Mom, however has been awesome. She has already written next weeks as well! She's great. I thought I would give you some random facts about my mom before I let her tell you her story about matinee movies.

Karen:

• taught school 24 years , retired 3 years ago
• is one of four girls- Jenny, Ruby, Karen & Janice
• lived in Virginia her whole life, until she met my Dad
• is a born again Christian and walks her faith daily
• was the editor of her high school yearbook
• was homecoming queen
• was pigeon toed when she was a little girl
• has been married to my dad 34 years

Without further ado...Monday with Mom.

Lavender & Icy Hot

Matinees are great ideas, No phones going off, no giggling from all the preteens, and no long lines... that's on the surface. The first time i went to a matinee I was with a friend. We went to a new, small neighborhood theater ..there was no real, live person to take our money...we had to use the automated machine! Neither of us had purchased tickets in this manner, and my friend only brought cash, so together we had to figure the new automated -system out. We DID SO, AND FELT QUITE EMPOWERED...

The experience wasn't as quiet as I had expected, as there were about a dozen or so older women in our theater. They all felt free to laugh loudly, and get up and leave in the middle of the movie to run to the bathroom. Some of us even texted quietly or checked Facebook pages since there were no large crowds to bother.

After the movie, my friend and I critiqued our experience.  I stated that I really thought matinees would be the way to go from now on.  I said that I really like the experience, except that I really thought the theater smelled like old  people...I kept smelling Bengay and lavender.
  

As we drove to our next destination, I kept thinking about the smells we had left behind, and began to realize something...the smells were in the car with us. I had used an icy hot patch to mask the pain in my knee, and when I mentioned it to my friend, she started laughing. She remembered that she put on some lavender lotion that was in the theater restroom, near the sink...and she could still smell that! I smelled us...we WERE the old people smell! We couldn't stop laughing. And ...Yes, we might have been the two women that held up the traffic when the light turned green:)

  Stay tuned next week for, "There's no glitter in this line"

Mondays with Mom: Episode 2

Wow. I have a lot to catch up on. Last week was crazy and then we left to go out of town for one of my best friends wedding. So here is what you can look forward too over the next couple days/week. 

Fathers Day

Ascher's 15 month

Unglued Notes

The Hameedi's Visit

Our visit to the zoo

Utah Trip

Until then though...here is a Monday with Mom. This is a poem she wrote for Hadley, my niece. Say a prayer for my mom if you will. She hasn't been feeling very well. 

Baby's First Gummy Smile

Smile for your mommy...
Smile for your daddy...
Good baby!

New parents enamored with their newborn
So enthralled with the new gift of life
that has been entrusted to them.
Kisses, assurances, soothing songs
All heard frequently those first few weeks.
Then reality sets in, and while the new parents
are still totally in love with their newbie...
they are exhausted.
And just as they question whether they can exist on a three hour sleep night again..
it happens...
       

 The smile..
God knew just when to send it
The most wonderful thing you've ever been a part of,
 that new baby giving you all that smile,
 that perfect, gummy smile that says...
Thanks mommy and daddy. And...
Stay tuned after this smile there's more to come...
Giggles,laughter,vocabulary.
I'll be entertaining you for now on...
And you're going to love it!!

Mondays with Mom

I mentioned last week that I wanted to start something new and my idea...Mondays with Mom. My mother is an excellent writer! We have always said we were gonna write a children's book together. We actually wrote one for one of my college classes. She has written Ascher and Hadley poems, a whole book about my grandmothers (both sides) and many journals. 

This is us on Fathers Day

I can honestly say my mother is one of my best friends. I talk to her at least 3 times a day and when I recently deleted my texts the other day...I had over 1500 texts between us!!

Mom & Dad with both their grandkids on Christmas Day

She was a teacher and SAHM so when I was teaching she understood my teacher frustrations- and now as a SAHM she understands those frustrations too. My parents have been married 34 years and love each just as much as when they got married. I always remember Mom telling me her heart still beats fast when she sees Dad's truck behind her in the rear view mirror. Anyways- I was thinking how could I get mom to write weekly!? Give her a spot on my blog!! So without further ado...Here is Mom...

Mondays with Mom

FAME

Yesterday, I was important

The world smiled on me and

Held me up in the palm of her hand!

Today, I am plain, ordinary –

My fame lasted a fleeting moment and it was gone.

That’s why we can’t live by the world’s rules –

We must live above the fickle existence of the world’s position, possessions, performances, and looks. The fame I hold on to is the eternal  fame I have because I am a child of the king.; an heir to His throne…all because I believed and accepted Jesus as my Savior.

My position in Christ gave me fame, my possessions in Christ made me wealthy, and my  glow is from the inside out because I know who holds every tomorrow for each of us!.

I wrote that poem after receiving a coveted “teacher of the year” award a few years ago.  It felt great to be recognized, to know that the blood, sweat, and tears I put forth for students was realized by others. 

But the following morning after receiving that award, on the way to my daughter’s middle school, she asked me to pray for her day as there would probably be some sort of confrontation with a fellow student.  We prayed on the way to school that morning, and as she got out of the car, I felt a sense of peace as she turned and said, “Thanks, mom.”

It dawned on me as I watched her walk in to her school that morning that what we had just done…pray…was the most important activity of our day. As I pulled away from the curb, I realized that the accolades of the world last three minutes, but that we do for our Lord will touch eternity.

May we as women, wives, moms…Pray for and with each other today.