Automatic

Mom tells me I need to put myself on automatic and put the pain on the back burner until I have completed everything I need to do. Thats hard. I know Grandpa wouldnt want me sitting around moping but its just hard. All I want to do is lie in bed and sit there. As depressing as it is thats all I want to do. Maybe today is just a hard day. Its rainy outside and its the first day Ive been back and the funeral was yesterday. Im sure I'll cheer up soon because I know that is what Grandpa would want.

Something really amazing happened on Friday. Me and mom were packing up the car and it was early morning so everything was real quiet, then all of sudden we hear this bird just singing its little heart out. Mom tells me to look up into a tree in our yard where the leaves are gone and the branches are bear and what do i see? A BEAUTIFUL RED CARDNIAL- singing for me and mom. A cardinal was my other grandpa's favorite bird and me and mom have this thing that anytime we see one we just know grandpa is watching us- and there is was just clear as day just singing its little lungs out. It was such a God thing.