Life in July

Once we got home from Utah life slowed down as far as going places. Ascher and I were as busy as ever. I took a picture of my calendar of July. Wow. Every day is packed with stuff. Granted, I write down everything- menu, what we did, apts (everything color coded mind you) : ) So I'll give a quick run down on some things we did in July...

played in the backyard pool

had playdates (both Mommy & Baby)

went to Avery's 5th Birthday party

Grammy came to visit 

loved on Pip...a lot. They are best friends.

Got our hair cuts

You can't really tell in pic. Left I have makeup on- Right I do not.
Left it is straight- Right she curled it after highlighting it.

He wasn't very good at posing either. ; ) 

And just played...here are some of my favorites from July

my little Aggie 

 playing on the ipad

 a whole post to come of these photos....I died of cuteness so I may or may not have taken a lot of photos.

The power went out one night and it was super hot. Little man thought it was most comfy to sleep on my chest...I was sweating by the time I moved him.

When did he get so big!?!

my two loves

Here is a pic I took of calendar at beginning of month and the end of the month. Wow.

Four Kinds of Unglued: Chapter 4

Session 3: Four Kinds of Unglued

Chapter 4: What kind of Unglued Am I?

I realized I was having a hard time defining myself. I needed to define myself not with the purpose of labeling, but for identifying, for naming what is true. There is a big difference between labeling ourselves and indentifying our tendencies (43). I personally had the hard time with this- the tool on page 193 of the book really helped identifying my “kind of unglued.” Also, use the tool to find out what kind of unglued you are with more than just one person. (spouse, friends, kids, strangers)

So we know there are 4 kinds of unglued:

Exploders who shame themselves

Exploders who blame others

Stuffers who build barriers

Stuffers who collect retaliation rocks

Exploding means pushing emotions outward- condemning attitudes, raised voices, harsh looks; however there are quiet exploders too- not the decibel level but having reactions that feel good in the moment because it gets the yuck out. We’ll either deflect that regrets by blaming someone else or we’ll ingest the regret by shaming ourselves. Either way, exploding feels good in the short term but awful in the long term (44).

Stuffing means pushing emotions inward- wallow in the hurt, we coat the issue with more and more layers or hurt until it forms a hard rock of sorts. It’s a rock we will eventually use either to build a barrier or to hurl at someone else in retaliation (44).

Most of us fall into ALL 4 categories! “I instinctively measure this cost and decide with whom and in what circumstances I can afford to either explode and let it all rip or stuff it and pretend nothing’s wrong” (45).

We have a choice- the easy reaction or the good reaction. Easy isn’t the new good. Making progress requires pursing the good over the easy. Micah 6:8 was discussed in the participants guide and I like what she did.  Micah is telling the Israelites they have completely missed the point about what is Good and what is God requires of them. Three different versions followed:

He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God. (NIV)

The Lord God has told us what is right and what he demands: “See that justice is done, let mercy be your first concern, and humbly obey your God.” (CEV)

But he’s already made it plain how to live, what to do, what God is looking for in men and women. It’s quite simple: Do what is fair and just to your neighbor, be compassionate and loyal in your love, And don’t take yourself too seriously—take God seriously. (MSG)

I have highlighted the parts of each that really stuck out to me.

“Exploders chose the easy over the good when they embrace a semblance of honesty but refuse to be reined in by godliness. Stuffers choose the easy over the good when they embrace a semblance of godliness (peacemaking) but refuse to be reined in by honesty (Participants Guide, 80).”

A person who stuffs then shames themselves uses their words and tone to make sure the other person feels their point (46)—instead we should use this as a “golden opportunity to love the unlovely.” Refuse to wallow in the depressing angst condemnation brings- instead embrace any conviction you feel. Condemnation defeats us. Conviction unlocks the greatest potential for change (47). We aren’t stuck- he is going to mold us and shape us to do what we are supposed to do for him. 

Soul Integrity

Soul integrity is what we need to strive for. We don’t want to be a stuffer who turns into an exploder or vice versa. So what is Soul Integrity? Soul Integrity is honesty that’s Godly. It brings the passion of the exploder and the peacemaking of the stuffer under the authority of Jesus.

She talks about when her emotions are level she is like the little girl in the movie, The Help. The quote from the movie “You is kind. You is smart. You is important.” Jesus made me a kind-hearted person, full of encouragement and eager to inspire any person who gets within ten feet of me. Jesus made me smart enough to know that I need Him- desperately and fully. And Jesus has assigned all of us the important job of representing Him to this world which means we re-present him everywhere we go. (52)

Start praying now for the person you want to be in 7 years. Let God begin to sow in you how he will use you in the future.

When we explode we embrace the honesty part but refuse to be reined in by the godly part. You see, my honest feelings may not be truthful assessments of the situation. In reality, honesty that isn’t true isn’t honesty at all. That’s why we need Godly honesty—honesty reined in by the Holy Spirit. (52-53)

It must grieve God’s heart to see His people reject the godliness that should always balance out our honesty. How it must also grieve God’s heart to see plastic versions of godliness that aren’t reined in by honesty. Saying I’m fine to keep the peace, when we’re not really fine, isn’t honest. It may seem godly in the moment, but its false godliness. Truth and Godliness always walk hand in hand.

Knowing that we can’t control how others act & react, I still can control how I act and react. We can extended others forgiveness while simultaneously being honest about our hurt.  Just because we extend forgiveness doesn’t mean we need to keep that person in our close-knit circle. Forgiveness is mandatory; reconciliation is optional. (54)

WORDS! How we use them:

 So much of pursuing this soul integrity means carefully watching our words (54)

I recently heard a quote I loved- “in order to overflow into other people’s lives, you have to be filled up.” 

Self effort alone can’t tame the tongue and our raw emotions run wild. (54) Our words must be spoken in the humility that comes from wisdom. And when we are wise, we pause and measure our words to get at the heart of the issue without sabotaging the heart of our offender –See James 3:14-16 (55).

I stuff to protect myself by keeping conflict at bay. But I’m stuffing and not being honest about my true feelings, that self protection quickly turns into selfishness and the unresolved conflict gives birth to bitterness. See James 3:17...Our peacemaking efforts must be honest.  Soul Integrity makes us true peacemakers- people who aren’t stuffing or exploding but rather honestly demonstrating what they are experiencing in a godly manner. And being a true peacemaker reaps a harvest of great qualities in our lives. (James 3:18) (56).

Utah- The Last Day & Last Post

Saturday morning after the wedding we slept in and had a chill morning. We showered and walked down to Main Street for some grub. Chelsea & I were more concerned with finding the candy shop and getting candy apples than eating lunch. 

We spent the rest of the day relaxing around the house...taking naps and just being together. Jordan's parents just bought a new house in Park City so Saturday night they were having a house party/after wedding party. So we picked up Jordan- went to eat dinner at The Blind Dog and then headed to her parents house. It is BEAUTIFUL!! We are already planning going back in January/February during winter season. 

Megan, Chelsea, Jordan, Kimberly, Megan, Ashley & Me

Jordan & Me 

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Roomies

Group on house porch

Such pretty background

love her!

NANNNY

Fireplace photo

Jordan & Her Parents

Well there you have it...our trip to Utah. Sunday we got up and said goodbye as we all slowly left. We road to airport with Megan & Rine...hung out at airport for awhile but by this time we were so ready to get home. The fun was over and we were exhausted and ready to see our little man!! Speaking of....he had a blast with Grammy...I'll have to do a post of the photos/fun he had while we were away!!! I can't wait for our next vacation with NANNY! I have found the best friends a girl could ask for. I always say I liked high school better than college but not true. not true. College gave me my friends for a lifetime. So lucky. 

Utah: The Wedding

Last I left off with the wedding was getting ready....we drove to the hotel which was a straight shot from our condo (so nice). The boys, of course, complaining the whole time of how hot they were in their suits...oh please. We arrived and had some time to kill so we sat in the bar with the Bunce girls and the boys.

After awhile it was time to go get seats so we signed in and took our seats.

I passed my camera to Ashley since she was on the edge and told her to get some good shots of them all coming down the aisle. 

Chelsea & flower girl

Bride & Her Daddy, Phil

You may kiss the bride

Loved her pastor, gave such a good message!

After the ceremony we all went up to the terrace for cocktails & appetizers. I don't really ever drink so its not normally a problem but on this night I went to get champagne and the bar tender carded me. 4 times.(don't worry all 4 weren't for me) Really!? I have a child!!! 

My college roomie/BFF- Chelsea & her baby bump (She is due 4 days after my birthday- January)

The boys

JoJo & Me

NANNNY (Chelsea, Kimberly, Jordan, Me & Block)

After a little while it started getting really ugly and all of sudden a huge storm blew in. Everyone hurried inside while downstairs everyone hurried to get all of dinner moved inside (We were supposed to be eating outside). Jordan handled it beautifully. She calmly asked for some champagne and for Austin to get down there. LOL- so calm. We ate...danced in the rain...danced in the break from the rain...danced in more rain and just had a fabulous night 

It was raining and so no one was dancing. The band was taking a break and it was just playing music. Well our wedding song came on and Justin and I have a deal..if they play Then by Brad Paisley- we have to dance. So we went out in the rain by ourselves and danced. : ) Sweet memory.

It was a beautiful wedding and I had such a good time. A vacation with my best friends watching my best friend get married. Perfection. 

Mondays with Mom: Her Testimony

Sharing Bits and Pieces of Our Lives

A number of years ago, when I was a summer camp counselor at a Christian camp, I had the opportunity to serve with a foreign missionary named Hazel Moon. One night after Vespers, she told me that she felt in her heart that God would have more people do exactly what many of us do...share the bits and pieces of our lives. That's what Lauren's blog does. Hopefully, mine will too. And, through the blogs, maybe we will share more and comment more with each other, so that we may all grow and learn from each other.

Recently, Lauren asked me and many others to write their testimony. We should all do that. Below is my testimony:

My mom took her four daughters to Sunday school and church every Sunday day of my life. At our house, you had to be sick or dying to miss church, except for dad, who never went with us. We also went to church on Sunday night, and Wednesday night, and I even joined the choir, and my younger sister played the piano. We used to sing with two of our other friends. Thank God for small country churches where girls with so-so voices were praised and encouraged to serve The Lord. Vacation Bible School every summer, and GA's (a group studying missionaries) through the week.....I am proof that you can go to church for years and NOT become a Christian!

Mom's church growing up

Every year, our church held a revival, not done much today. But, it was known, you would be attending nightly!! Every night for the entire week, regardless of homework! During one such revival time, I remember that our pastor, Mr. Davis and the visiting pastor came to visit our home (which was normal during revival) in the evening, one day in to the revival. I was in my bedroom, and refused to visit with them. I was convicted, and I knew they were going to ask me if I had a personal relationship with Christ. I knew I would have to say no.  My younger sister had already become a Christian,and I observed her walk with God daily. She had such a fire in her heart for the Lord. I didn't have what she had, but I knew that her walk was the one I desired. 

Mom & Her Younger Sister, Janice

Well, I did talk to Pastor Davis and became a Christian that evening as God worked in my heart. I walked forward the next night at revival, when the invitation song, "Softly and  Tenderly, Jesus is calling " was played. My feet were ready, and I waited one verse, and then moved to the front of the church to let others know of my decision.  I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders, to finally accept the eternal gift I had been afraid of. I thought I wasn't perfect enough to accept; I had a lot to learn. I was seventeen years old!!!  I say that because most children accept Jesus , I think, earlier in their young lives. Still don't know what took me so long!

I served with a new fervor after that, teaching children's classes and nighttime bible studies.  I continued to sing in the church choir, even though singing at funerals made me feel so sad, I would almost get physically ill. I knew people needed to be encouraged during that hard time in their lives.

At twenty one years of age, I nearly died in a horrific motorcycle accident; thus rededicating every action in life to God.....but then that's a different testimony...

Mondays with Mom: Episode 5

Is He Real? 

Recently, Lauren took Ascher to the zoo, and she took a photo that is amazing; Ascher leaning in to the glass partition at the cheetah habitat, and kissing the cheetah!

The photo made me remember a notebook I kept of wonderful events from my years of teaching...
There were a few years when I taught gifted students, and English , second language students. (Such a combination of teaching skills here!) During that time, I had an office in the front of our school, not a classroom; therefore, I got to hear many conversations in the hallway when people did not realize I was in my office. Here's one of my favorites.

He was about three years old, and he was all boy - from his baseball cap on the top of his head down to his Nike-clad feet.  He walked right up there, with no fear, and on the edges of his tippy toes he leaned in.
"Is it real?"
"Is it real?"
I'm sure his mom didn't know the proper way to answer that question.
You see; that small, wide-eyed little boy was  staring at a stuffed raccoon in the school's trophy case in the front hallway of the school. Our school mascot was a raccoon, and years ago, a local taxidermist had donated the raccoon to his children's school.  He even has a name, Woody, and he's walking on a limb. It was easy to see why Woody's realism would cause some questioning!
"He's real," I heard his sweet mom answer. Probably not wanting to go any further with this discussion, she followed by saying, "We've got to go."
The young boy didn't budge. Being a smart mom, she said, "I'll wait right over there by the door. Tell the raccoon God bless you and then let's go."
Being an obedient three year old, I watched as he did just that. He walked over to the trophy case, leaned in once again, kissed the glass dividing them and whispered, "Little raccoon...I'll get you out of there tomorrow when we bring my sister to school. It'll be ok ...oh...and...God bless you!"